You know you're a Democrat if you can't stand your rich uncle, but you invite him to your daughter's graduation because he's gay.

You know you're a Democrat if you think Colin Powell might make a good President, if he weren't conservative.

You know you're a Democrat if you think every Republican is A closet homosexual.

You know you're a Democrat if you wish the Republic of Texas had never become a state.

You Know you're a Democrat if you hit a single but believe you deserve a triple because the other team got one.

You Know you're a Democrat if you believe the U.S. Constitution clearly supports strippers.

You Know you're a Democrat if you can't fathom that Abraham Lincoln was actually a Republican.